Remember me
by thesecretrosegarden
Summary: Isabelle Lightwood had always known she would die young but now that it was really happening, she felt like she did not have enough time on earth. A lot of Alec/Isabelle/Jace sibling love and pain, with hints of Malec, Clace and Sizzy. Set somewhen post COLS
1. A battle lost

**I'm with you**  
**Whenever you tell, my story**  
**For I am all I've done**  
**Remember, I will still be here**  
**As long as you hold me, in your memory**  
**Remember me**  
**I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers**  
**And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky**

The night was dark, a handful of stars scattered across the sky. Their light was bright, nearly blinding, as Isabelle stared into them, thinking that maybe this was it. The last thing she would ever see. She imagines Max to be one of the stars, shining down at her, guiding her home to where he was. He had been gone for so long now, months had passed, but Izzy had never stopped missing him and most of all she had never stopped blaming herself for letting him die. She had been his older sister, she should have protected him.

A distant voice cried her name but Isabelle was tired. Her eyes were heavy and she had a hard time keeping them open but she knew the person calling her war Alec. It was always Alec who kept them together and who made sure they were alright. They had lost each other on the battlefield around midnight. Alec went after a demon which attacked Magnus and Isabelle had helped Jace to get through to Jonathan, hoping that they were able to finally kill him. The Elapid demon had caught her off guard while she was fighting two fallen Nephilim. Its venomous teeth had sunk into her shoulder and one of its legs had stabbed her in the stomach. Isabelle had sunk to the ground, choking on her own blood, where she still lay, waiting for her life to end. The poison was burning in her veins, the wound in her stomach gaping, but Izzy was too far gone to care. The stars were all that mattered now. Their light in the darkest of nights, when hundreds of Nephilim fell under the blades of Jonathan's army and tomorrow was lost for so many of them. Isabelle had always expected to die young but now that it was happening, she felt like time had run out too quickly for her. She was 17 for only a few weeks, so much in life was still unknown to her. It had always been her wish to die on the battlefield, doing something heroic like taking the blade for someone else. Instead she had just been too busy to see the demon approach. The one thing she now realized was that there was nothing glorious in dying. It was cold, painful and lonely. She felt so light and dizzy, yet the pain was excruciating, like fire running through her veins, spreading through her whole body and setting everything in flames.

Two hands grabbed her and dragged her somewhere but she could not see who it was. When blue sparks mixed with the white light of the stars she was sure that Magnus had come to her aid. But it was already too late, she felt it. The warmth of his magic could not fill her and she heard the warlock growl.

"Izzy, hold on!"

Her brother's voice was suddenly loud and dominant in her dizzy mind and Isabelle's eyes wandered from the stars to his face, seeing the stains of tears on it, traces of pain on his dusty skin. He took her hand in his and Isabelle felt save. She wasn't alone anymore and that alone made her feel better. "Stay awake, Iz, please! You can't leave me, you just can't!" His pleading hurt somewhere deep inside, where the venom had not yet reached her. Isabelle's heart ached for her brother who was so desperately trying to save her. He was holding on for dear life, clutching her hand in his as if that alone would save her. She wanted to say something, but her mouth was so dry she couldn't speak. The blue and green sparks that floated out of Magnus' hands mixed with the rest of the colors she was still able to see and her vision blurred into a spectrum of rainbows. Alec's voice faded until Izzy was only able to make out single words, as she slipped into imminent, comforting darkness, in which the pain stopped existing and her body's torment was far away.

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Hey everyone! Hope you liked the first, angsty chapter! If so, let me know and fav or review 333


	2. Let her go

**Remember the love that we once shared,  
miss me-but let me go.  
For this is a journey that we all must take,  
and each must go alone.**

The darkness had swallowed her, consumed her and didn't let her go for a very long time. When it finally started to subside, she heard voices, soft sobbing and a door close. The sound were very sharp but her body felt limp. She could not move or open her eyes for a while and was forced to listen to her mother's crying next to her. Someone held her hand and stroked it gently but every touch let bolts of pain shoot through her arm and finally Isabelle was able to move it a little and moan. Her eyes fluttered open and she could see her whole family sitting and standing around her bed, even her father. Alec was holding her hand, while Jace was holding Maryse, trying to comfort her but he was as pale as she was. Izzy studied their faces for a moment, before she tried to speak but Alec leaned over her and kissed her cheek, his tears falling on her hot skin.

"Shhhh, don't speak. Rest, Izzy. You're not supposed to talk or move a lot", he said in a cooing voice but it trembled so much when he spoke that she could barely understand him.

"I'm not dead yet so why do you all cry?"

Isabelle's voice sounded hoarse and shaky. Her mother choked on her own sobbing instead of answering and Iz guessed that wasn't actually the best health prognosis she could have been given. Everyone was crying their eyes out so it had to be serious. It was Jace who lightened up the mood, as always.

"Oh! Crap guys, false alarm, she's still breathing. Stop crying and cancel the funeral! Or better delay it, she will kick the bucket soon", he said sarcastically and earned shocked looks.

"JACE!"

Robert hissed, clearly not into his son's jokes, but Isabelle tried to smile, though she failed, the corners of her mouth barely twitching. Jace, however, seemed to have seen it and winked at her, before letting go of Maryse's shoulders.

"Come on guys, she should rest. Give her some space to breathe", he said, trying to chase everyone out of the room. Maryse let go of her daughter reluctantly and only left because the Silent Brothers were waiting to operate on Isabelle, her eyeless faces looking grimmer than ever in the dim light of the infirmary. Alec stayed behind with Jace, Magnus next to him. The warlock looked tired and worn out but he managed to smile.

"Thought you were not going to wake up again, sleeping beauty. You scared the hell out of everyone, I hope you know that", he said, his voice low and soft. He reached out and stroked her hair, before looking over to the Silent Brothers.

"She's all yours now. Do your best", he said and made Alec rise from the chair next to his sister's bed, even though he did not want to let go off her hand.

"What's wrong with me?", Isabelle's voice was shrill and sounded alarmed. Jace was there to hold her down as she tried to sit up, sending waves of nausea and pain through her body. "If you don't rest, there will be a lot more wrong with you, little sister", he said and kissed her forehead which he hadn't done ever since they had been kids. Another sign for the fact that something was terribly wrong.

Isabelle was too weak and too tired to fight, though and sank back into the pillows, closing her eyes wearily and drifting off to sleep within seconds, the Silent Brothers at her side who were trying to heal her battered and broken body.

It was long past midnight when Izzy woke up again. Alec was sitting at her bed again, Jace next to him. They were both awake but staring blankly ahead without talking. As soon as they realized Izzy was wake, they were both wide awake again, trying their best to look cheerful and normal.

"Hey love, how do you feel?", Alec wanted to know, trying desperately to keep his voice steady as he spoke but failing miserably.

"It hurts…", Izzy moaned because the pain in her body was unbearable. Her nerves were tingling painfully and the wounds she had suffered hurt incredibly, especially the bite mark where the demon had sunk its teeth into her skin.

"I'll go and wake up Magnus so he can ease the pain", Alec said and jumped off his chair, nearly running out of the room, leaving Jace alone with his baby sister. For a moment he hesitated, then took off his shoes and slipped into bed next to her, carefully pulling her into his arms.

"Remember when we were little and I used to sneak into your room after nightmares? I never wanted to admit they had actually frightened me and you never asked why I came, you just let me crawl into your bed and held me until we both fell asleep again", he whispered and kissed her temple. "I can tell you're scared now, but it'll be alright. You'll be alright." Even though he sounded convincing, Isabelle didn't believe him.

"You're lying", she gave back, her voice barely audible.

"No, I'm not lying, Iz. I just believe in you and your strength. You'll get better, I know it. Besides, I would have to follow you wherever you go when you die and kick your sorry ass back here and we both don't want this to happen, right?", he joked and stroked Izzy's arm.

Magnus appeared with Alec that moment and made his way over to Isabelle's bed, blue sparks already spraying out of his hands. "It'll be better in a moment", he said, moving his hands over her body with a concentrated, tired face. A few seconds later the pain subsided a little, yet did not disappear completely.

"Am I going to die? Don't dare lie to me", Isabelle said in the most serious way she was capable of right now and Alec's face fell at her words. Both her brothers stayed mute while Magnus was the one forced to answer her question.

He sat down at the edge of the bed and a sad smile curled up the corners of his mouth.

"I managed to heal your wounds when I found you but I wasn't able to neutralize the poison in your blood. It has spread into your nervous system, causing the pain you feel, and it has somehow settled down in your organs. It has attacked them severely and so far we were not able to heal the damage it has done. If we don't find a cure before your organs fail, you will die, yes."

Isabelle stared at the warlock for a few seconds, unable to really process his words, before she nodded softly. "Okay…", she whispered and avoided looking at her brothers because she knew what those news had done to them.

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thank you guys for the lovely reviews, they meant the world to me! And because I appreciated them so much, I added a new chapter :) let me know what you think xoxo


	3. Keep holding on

**Lord make me a rainbow**

**I'll shine down on my brother**

**He'll know I'm save with you**

**When he stands under my colors**

It was barely morning when Alec sneaked into Isabelle's room. He hadn't really slept in days, not even with Magnus right next to him who was allowed to stay at the Institute to comfort Alec. Maybe his parents were too worn out to put on a fight. Alec, however, was glad his boyfriend was around, now that they were back together, but Magnus couldn't ease the pain that was eating him up inside. He could give comfort, but he could not heal.

Each and every morning, before the sun rose in the sky, he would sneak into Izzys room to make sure she was still there, still breathing. He would have spent every night right next to her if Magnus and Iz herself had allowed it but because both of them insisted that he went to sleep in his own bed, he checked on her regularly every night.

A week had passed since they had brought Izzy in, bleeding and dying. One week in which she seemed to have recovered but in fact it was just the work of Magnus and the Silent Brothers who made her as comfortable as possible. Most of the time she could bear the pain and when she was awake, she was bubbly and funny as usual. Unfortunately there were not many moments anymore in which she was awake. She slept throughout most of the day because her body was drained.

When Alec walked in that morning, Izzy was already awake, her dark eyes staring out of the window. He had forgotten to close the curtains last night and now the first beams of sunlight spilled inside the room.

"Good morning, love. How was your night?", he asked, a crooked smile on his lips as he sat down on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his own and stroking it gently with his thumb.

Izzy smiled weakly and he could tell she wasn't okay by that alone.

"Okay I guess", she said, her voice weak and soft. His heart cramped in his chest to see his strong, beautiful sister withering away like that and he fought hard against the tears that he tried to cry solely when he was alone.

"Would you like to have some breakfast?", he asked, hoping she would accept. She had eaten barely anything the last week, being either too sick or too sleepy to do so. One week had been enough for her to lose weight in an amount that it was more than visible. Her arms were thin, her pale skin nearly transparent with blue veins visible underneath.

"I'm not hungry…", Izzy mumbled and looked at him, her dark eyes forming an excuse.

"Maybe something to drink then? A cup of tea?"

At least he had got her to drink a little the past few days and hoped she was able to have cup or two today as well.

"Yeah…tea would be okay I guess", Izzy gave back and nodded slightly. Alec smiled and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, which was hot and sweaty from the fever that wouldn't drop.

"I'll be right back with tea", he said and left her room to hurry downstairs into the kitchen to prepare two cups of tea for the two of them. A few minutes later he made his way into her room again with two mugs in hand, both hot so he put them down on the nightstand next to her bed.

Izzy took one of the mugs in her hands and he helped her to sit up a little so she could drink more easily. She was very quite this morning, Alec noted, before he carefully watched her taking a few sips of the tea.

Her face changed within seconds from pale to even paler and Alec grew worried.

"Iz, are you alright?", he managed to say, as she bent forward and started vomiting blood, unable to make it to the bathroom or at least give him a sign because it all happened to fast. Alec was so terrified that he dropped his cup and jumped from the edge of the bed, nearly knocking the cup out of Izzy's hand as well. "MAGNUS!", he yelled, hoping the warlock next door would hear him, before running into the bathroom to grab a towel and a bowl. He was shaking violently, tears blinding his sight as he rushed back to his sister, holding the bowel for her and whispering comforting words while rubbing her back.

Magnus appeared in Isabelle's room a few moments later, his hair a complete mess from sleeping and still in his Pyjamas. He saw the blood stains on Izzy's blanket and her clothes and even he looked shocked for a moment, before moving over and pushing Alec gently aside so he could help Izzy, squeezing the boy's hand for a second because he could see the sheer panic in his eyes.

"It's okay, Iz. Don't worry it looks worse than it is", Magnus said in a low voice and stroked the girls back, moving his sparkling other hand over her stomach for a moment.

"Is it better?", he then asked and Izzy nodded slightly because the nausea was gone. Alec was shaking as much as her and nearly as pale.

"The poison has irritated her stomach severely which caused bleeding. It's under control now, though", Magnus explained and hoped it would calm Alec down but he knew how frightening the sight must have been for both Lightwood kids. He turned his attention back to Isabelle and pushed the dirty blanket off her body.

"Let's change your clothes and wash you, huh?", he said and picked her up easily. "I would have done it with magic but I've used most of it, don't want to waste it on something like cleaning you", he added and carried her over to the bathroom, Alec at his heels.

"Alec, help her change and wash, I'll get something that will ease her upset stomach", he ordered, though he was gentle, and left the bathroom because he didn't want Isabelle to feel embarrassed being barely dressed in front of him.

Alec stayed behind with his sister who had tears running down her pale face.

"Shhhht, don't cry. We can fix that, it's not a big deal", Alec said and stroked her hair before wetting a washcloth, then laying it aside to peel the clothes off her first. Isabelle was completely quiet and Alec wished he could have done something to make her feel better but right now he couldn't. He helped her undress and wiped the blood off her skin, before handing her new clothes. Then he picked her up and carried her over to his own room so he could change the sheets later.

"How are you feeling? Still sick?", he asked but Izzy shook her head.

"No…just weak", she answered and curled up in bed as soon as he had covered her with his blanked. She looked so young and fragile and it hurt to see her like that.

"Hey, how about we make a Disney night later after you had a nap? Remember when we were kids and you forced Jace and me to watch Cinderella a thousand times, insisting that she would have been a great Shadowhunter? You loved that", Alec said with a smile but swallowed the lump in his throat because again he was at the edge of crying, remembering those moments from their childhood. Izzy's face lit up a little and she nodded.

"That would be nice", she agreed and the hint of a smile appeared on her lips.

"It's settled then! You have a Disney date with Jace and me tonight. Don't sleep in late, lazy head. We don't want to have all the fun without you", he teased halfheartedly and kissed her hair, pulling a chair next to the bed to sit with her. She was already asleep when Magnus came back with a small bottle in hands and they agreed to give it to her later when she woke up again.

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Hey everyone! Another chapter for night number 3. Please excuse spelling mistakes, I usually write late at night ( it's 3:11 am here ) because the darkness in my room somehow inspires me haha! I'm awefully sorry that I made some of you cry, though I take that as a compliment. Brace yourselves though, the bitter end will come. But in between, Disney night is coming up next ^^ hope you'll like it 33


	4. Cinderella lived happily ever after too

**All of my memories keep you near**  
**In silent moments**  
**Imagine you'd be here**  
**All of my memories keep you near**

Isabelle woke up to the sound of someone arguing in the room and her eyelids fluttered open. "I told you, I looked everywhere, I couldn't find it anymore. Mom made me search the attic for an hour but it's gone", Jace said with a frown on his face and his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Fine, I'll go and look for it, you set up the TV so we can see it from the bed", Alec ordered and left the room without noticing that his sister was awake.

Jace looked over to her bed and smiled a little, before hopping on the bed next to Izzy with a swift movement. "Good morning, little dove. I hope you slept well, we are nearly ready for the DVD evening", he stated, looking around the room. "I accidentally nearly burned down the kitchen while trying to make Popcorn so Mom will make it and bring it in a few minutes. In the meantime I could offer to paint your nails", he said with a grin on his face and Isabelle had to laugh.

"Thank you, last time you did that, you changed your mind and painted my bedpost instead. See, there is still some glittery pink left on it", the young girl said and pointed next to her foot. "Yes, and see what impact it had! Half of your room is pink now, I taught you to love the color", Jace joked and leaned forward do kiss her cheek. Her skin was hot under his lips and he felt his heart ache seeing his baby sister like this but he had promised not to show it. Alec and he had made a vow to be utterly happy tonight and not make Izzy feel any worse. They wanted to have fun together, tears were not wanted.

"How do you feel? Need anything?", he wanted to know after a moment of silence but Isabelle shook her head. "I feel quite okay", she answered, because the pain was bearable and the heat in her body was something she had gotten used to. Despite being completely exhausted even after hours of sleep, she had no worries that she would make it through the evening without any incidents.

Alec finally returned with a box in his hands, a satisfied look on his face. "Found it! It was in one of the storage rooms", he said and sat the box down on Isabelle's bed. "What is it?", she asked with a frown and her brother triumphantly took out a weird construct of blankets and sticks. "Our old tent! Remember when we sat it up to play cave with it whenever we wanted to shut out the world? We used to watch Cinderella sitting in our tent", he said with a smile on his face but Isabelle could see the sadness in his eyes and the way he swallowed hard in order to keep his emotions at bay. "Yeah…I remember", she whispered and had a hard time herself not to cry but she managed to smile instead. "Set it up so we can start", she ordered then and wiped her eyes when her brothers turned around to recreate their childhood memories.

When the rather shaky construction was set up, Jace walked over to Izzy's bed and smiled. "May I take you to your thrown, Mylady?", he asked and bowed in front of her, making his sister laugh. "Of course, Ser Jace", she answered, her mood suddenly incredibly good. Carefully and gently scooped her in his arms and carried her over, placing her in a huge pile of pillows and covering her with a blanket, before squeezing next to her. "We fitted better in here when we were little", Alec chuckled as he tried to find some space to sit before switching the TV on. They were distracted by a knock on the door and Maryse who entered the room. When she saw her kids cuddled, or rather squeezed, under the battered tent of their childhood, she could barely stop the wave of emotions that washed over her. "I'll put the food on the table", she said with a choked voice, before hurrying out of the room without another word.

For a moment there was silence between the three Lightwood kids before Jace got up to get the popcorn and chips Maryse had brought them. "Oh look! Mom is generous tonight, we're allowed to drink lemonade", Jace joked and placed everything in front of the tent before snuggling back next to Izzy. "She has a good day, maybe it's already Christmas again", the black haired girl chuckled because when they had been kids, lemonade had been a luxury usually only granted at Christmas or birthdays. "Let's start before our sleeping beauty here gets tired again", Alec said and started the Video. It had taken them forever to find a videoplayer to play the old Disney video but Luke had given them one. Both Alec and Jace took one of Isabelle's hands and gently stroked it when the movie started and they went quiet to watch it, all of them lost in their own thoughts and emotions. In the middle of the movie, Jace reminded himself of the food in front of them and picked up the bowl with popcorn in it. "Popcorn?", he asked but Iz shook her head. "Don't want to get sick", she said apologetically and Jace nodded slightly. "More for me then", he stated and started eating without offering it to Alec. "He hasn't changed at all you see, he still keeps the food for himself like he did when we were kids", Alec complained playfully and laughed a little.

Isabelle really made it through the whole movie awake but felt drained when it was over. "I'll just sleep here", she yawned and snuggled deeper into the pillows, closing her eyes. Jace smiled and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "No matter what they say Iz, you'll be alright", he said after having watched her for a few seconds. "Why?", his sister wanted to know and opened one eye to look at him. "Because Cinderella got a happy ending too and lived ever after with her prince charming even though she was a bore. If she's fine, you'll be as well", he whispered before pulling the blanket over all three of them. "Yeah…maybe I'm a Disney princess after all…", Izzy mumbled before sleep overwhelmed her. Alec and Jace both slept next to her that night, drifting in and out of sleep, checking on her to make sure she was alright but Izzy slept soundlessly and without waking up from pain once.

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I have to apologize for the lack of updates lately but Uni term papers got me really busy! Hope you like this one 3 review if you do or don't :D thanks for your support!


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